Eh hen oh!!! I've come again. You know, everytime i read the foreign news on the net I shake my head continously. Something is seriously wrong with them folk.
I have just heard rather read the expression "serial adulterer" and i'm laughing so hard. Which one be that na? Ok, let me lay it on you folk. This SA happens to be a spiritualist minister who was married to this Emmy winning T.V make up artist wife, who he killed and dumped her body in the "bush". The decomposing corpse was found 4 months later by some dude walking his dog (typical).
Now, why did this SA kill his wife? Was it jealousy? Rage? Money? Sex? BINGO!!! Bros was having an affair with some chick or chicks and was frequenting some gay site/hot line, Emmy winner found out, threatened to expose him as a fraud (both morally and financially) and BANG! She disappears...
Now, i dont know what's wrong with them folk. You have an issue with someone you eliminate the person just like that. Do human beings look like pencil drawings where you can just erase 'em at will? We are not living in the movies where they wake up and re-shoot the scene.
There was this other boy who had a fall out with this other kid over a stupid nitendo game. What happens next? He waits for his prey and what...? You guessed right eliminated the boy there and then! Swoosh! Spirit goes and boy drops dead.
There are so many, many stories of this sort of behaviour (quite saddening) where people believe they are "god(s)". Of course they eventually get what's was coming, life, 18 years etc... But it that really all? Is it really enough? Can these people really atone for their sins?? Can the wide gaping hole(s) left in the lives of bereaved families ever be filled?
We should never forget that life is fragile and irreplacable so we should treat it (ours and thiers) with care .....
Monday, March 2, 2009
Questions
The human mind is tricky or trickery. It plays with us, it plays with others. It haunts and taunts us all in its bid to survive. It sometimes works in partnership with the heart where it is a useful ally. At times, it can be your most feared enemy.
My head aches as it is filled with random and yet not so ramdom thots... Images, fluttering figures banging at all sides. Winged beings taunting....
Confusion sometimes brings clarity..... clarity sometimes brings disillusionment.... disillusionment brings depression... and so on ......
I'm confused but am i really? I know what I want and yet I do not. I'm playing with matches and not expecting a fire. Am I pretending or is this for real? Am we for real or are we living a lie?
So many questions, so few answers. I wonder, why is this so? Why are there so many shades between black and white. Why is love such a dangerous game? Why the complications when it should be either here or there? These shades are here again, they seem to overtake me, attempt to consume me, intend to exhume me.... (for lack of a better word to use)
Do i let him go, hold on to the leash or let the waves of nothingness carry me away to oblivion? Have I made a grave and terrible mistake by re-visting? The past is past and should be left alone in peace, deep and burried in the abyss.. I long for the future, to run wild and free in the sun with the wind in my hair... but.... these hands pull me back like tentacles rising from the land of no sunshine, calling me, whispering my name till my resolve is weakened....
What is love? Can someone really define it? I do not know what it is. I cannot describe it? I cannot experience it, taste it, give it, receive it. Must I continue to wander the earth devoid of this so called powerful emotion? When will i see the light? When will it come for me, that i may be renewed once again? Am I willing to try, to take a chance at love again? To imagine it exists out there and wants me as its own? To tear down the walls surrounding me and open the gates wide? To finally admit to myself and to him that the time is finally at hand as we both drown in the magnitude of our love..........
My head aches as it is filled with random and yet not so ramdom thots... Images, fluttering figures banging at all sides. Winged beings taunting....
Confusion sometimes brings clarity..... clarity sometimes brings disillusionment.... disillusionment brings depression... and so on ......
I'm confused but am i really? I know what I want and yet I do not. I'm playing with matches and not expecting a fire. Am I pretending or is this for real? Am we for real or are we living a lie?
So many questions, so few answers. I wonder, why is this so? Why are there so many shades between black and white. Why is love such a dangerous game? Why the complications when it should be either here or there? These shades are here again, they seem to overtake me, attempt to consume me, intend to exhume me.... (for lack of a better word to use)
Do i let him go, hold on to the leash or let the waves of nothingness carry me away to oblivion? Have I made a grave and terrible mistake by re-visting? The past is past and should be left alone in peace, deep and burried in the abyss.. I long for the future, to run wild and free in the sun with the wind in my hair... but.... these hands pull me back like tentacles rising from the land of no sunshine, calling me, whispering my name till my resolve is weakened....
What is love? Can someone really define it? I do not know what it is. I cannot describe it? I cannot experience it, taste it, give it, receive it. Must I continue to wander the earth devoid of this so called powerful emotion? When will i see the light? When will it come for me, that i may be renewed once again? Am I willing to try, to take a chance at love again? To imagine it exists out there and wants me as its own? To tear down the walls surrounding me and open the gates wide? To finally admit to myself and to him that the time is finally at hand as we both drown in the magnitude of our love..........
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thank God I'm Nigerian!
Ok oh! It seems like everytime i'm in the mood to blog, all I can do is lament, lament and lament some more. This is really getting old. Hmm... i don't know what to write now. WAHALA! yak.. yak.. yak...
I read this article today on an 18 month old tot in India who was married off to a dog a.k.a "the village bitch" all because he had a tooth growing in his mouth! This is believed to be very bad luck signifying the untimely death of this child by a tiger. The dog was seen wearing 2 silver rings and a necklace. The parents also assured everyone that the child would still marry from his own species in the future. HA!
Now as much as I appreciate the Indian culture as they have a very rich one at that, I think that some of their beliefs are totally wacked!! Imagine this poor child bearly out of his diapers already in an unholy matrimony with an animal! I wonder what would be written on their wedding certificate. Will they live together as toddler and bitch? Will lil Mrs toddler really honour her man or will she run off with the next availble dog while in heat? Can he really bring home the bacon?? Kids?? Sheez.. What will be the basis of their future divorce? Irreconcilable differences? Unfaithfulness? Abuse? Tufiakwa!!!
Thank God I'm a Nigerian!
I read this article today on an 18 month old tot in India who was married off to a dog a.k.a "the village bitch" all because he had a tooth growing in his mouth! This is believed to be very bad luck signifying the untimely death of this child by a tiger. The dog was seen wearing 2 silver rings and a necklace. The parents also assured everyone that the child would still marry from his own species in the future. HA!
Now as much as I appreciate the Indian culture as they have a very rich one at that, I think that some of their beliefs are totally wacked!! Imagine this poor child bearly out of his diapers already in an unholy matrimony with an animal! I wonder what would be written on their wedding certificate. Will they live together as toddler and bitch? Will lil Mrs toddler really honour her man or will she run off with the next availble dog while in heat? Can he really bring home the bacon?? Kids?? Sheez.. What will be the basis of their future divorce? Irreconcilable differences? Unfaithfulness? Abuse? Tufiakwa!!!
Thank God I'm a Nigerian!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tagged by Beulah???????
Ok, I really don't why i have to do this and why Beulah had to tagged me. What is this game all about?? Can someone please explain to my under developed blogger mind what this is all about??? Arrrhh!! Well, since i've been tagged i guess i have to comply...
2 truths about me....
1. Oh I'm pretty
2. Oh I'm pretty
oh! that's only 1 truth, let me try again....
2. Oh I'm so fine
There!!
Oh! Now i have to tell 1 lie. mmmh.....
1. I'm not vain
Ps: i'm not tagging anyone and YOU can't make me.....
2 truths about me....
1. Oh I'm pretty
2. Oh I'm pretty
oh! that's only 1 truth, let me try again....
2. Oh I'm so fine
There!!
Oh! Now i have to tell 1 lie. mmmh.....
1. I'm not vain
Ps: i'm not tagging anyone and YOU can't make me.....
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Shouda....
ok oh!! i'm tired!! yes!! officially fed up!!!! doesnt anyone have a "life manual" handy?? the bible of "what to do", "how to do", "when to do", i always think i have it (my life)all under wraps when in actually sense i've got absolutely nothing!!! i'm loosing it, or have i already lost it?? i feel like screaming right now, no, maybe curling up in a ball somewhere and crying like a baby. WHY?
could it be because the year is slowly coming to an end?? is that why i'm reflecting so deeply on the past? well, taking stock of the fading year i can understand but digging into the past.... WHY????
i feel strange, really strange. it feels strange, this feeling deep inside of me. u know how it is when u start (u think)seeing clearly and wonder about certain decisions taken in the past! it leaves u with a deep ache and sour taste which leads to an empty vacuum that cannot be filled.
as i stared @ their happy faces - "the perfect looking couple" i felt my chest tighten. it could have been... should have been and would have been me. yes me!!!! standing pretty next to him and smiling into the camera. yes me!!! looking hot and holding on to my man.......
i stared and stared and stared at them. picture after picture... jealousy? envy? ha!
regret!! such a bad thing. i've never felt this way before about loosing an ex to someone else. it was my fault. he tried, oh yes! he really did but i just couldnt see beyond my own nose, i didnt believe him nor trust him now i wish i could have given it a chance even though now it's too late, he belomgs to another ....
i now wonder, how many good opportunities i've lost. all because of what?? at that time i really thought i was making the right decisions. the years roll by so quickly and i'm still alone, it's so, so sad being on my own. maybe the season is the reason i'm feeling this way. I HATE this feeling and i wish it would just GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!
could it be because the year is slowly coming to an end?? is that why i'm reflecting so deeply on the past? well, taking stock of the fading year i can understand but digging into the past.... WHY????
i feel strange, really strange. it feels strange, this feeling deep inside of me. u know how it is when u start (u think)seeing clearly and wonder about certain decisions taken in the past! it leaves u with a deep ache and sour taste which leads to an empty vacuum that cannot be filled.
as i stared @ their happy faces - "the perfect looking couple" i felt my chest tighten. it could have been... should have been and would have been me. yes me!!!! standing pretty next to him and smiling into the camera. yes me!!! looking hot and holding on to my man.......
i stared and stared and stared at them. picture after picture... jealousy? envy? ha!
regret!! such a bad thing. i've never felt this way before about loosing an ex to someone else. it was my fault. he tried, oh yes! he really did but i just couldnt see beyond my own nose, i didnt believe him nor trust him now i wish i could have given it a chance even though now it's too late, he belomgs to another ....
i now wonder, how many good opportunities i've lost. all because of what?? at that time i really thought i was making the right decisions. the years roll by so quickly and i'm still alone, it's so, so sad being on my own. maybe the season is the reason i'm feeling this way. I HATE this feeling and i wish it would just GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Summary...
Hmmm..... This word seems to be a favorite one.. How time flies... Yes, it does indeed. It seemed like only yesterday when i last updated u and now it's almost 3 months!!!! Oh my!!!
Busy? Yes i have indeed been busy... not being under satan's yoke but under another -WORK!. Why do we need to work? We need to pay our bills, yes it's all about the bills.
Do you often notice that it always seems like we are always (emphasis on the the word always) working for others?? Working to pay the government - tax,PHCN, water board, working to pay the landlord - rent, working to pay the filing station owners - fuel, working to pay etc... sounds familiar??? sure leaves a big hole in the pocket within hours of receiving that pay.
Sigh.... (another favorite expression), maybe i should try - hiss?? na-ah! does quite cut it...
ok where was i? Ah-ha! (a new one?? maybe.) i'm oh so tired, seems like all i ever do these days is to lament and lament. what happened to my year of positive thinking???? if i can fream it and i can acheive it??? could it be that it's gone with the year??
oh yes! the year.... the year is almost over and as usual we do we do?? review all that was and was not... the couldas, shouldas and wouldas......
i too should review the year's activities as the third person. this year was well... one of thoses years. no new year's resolutions, no expectations save 1 which has been carried over into the next year. i think i kinda drifted through it all.
i must say i dabbled into a few relationships that progressed from bad to outright disgusting (still waiting for the good/sweet/almost perfect one that has evaded me for so long) that convinced me that i hadnt seen it all. MBA!!! there are a lot of bad, bad people out there. i also expereinced a lot of drama. drama? yes drama like a badly written home video which didnt have the ending u would 'ave expected.
in reflection, i must say i achieved a few things personally and i put a few smiles on the faces of loved ones. hey i even started my very own blog!! (round of appaulse if u please)
even as the lights are dimmed and the curtains of the year close to me forever, i know that the there is a surprise waiting for me and who so ever is reading this within the next 28 days. a word, a touch, a gift, a thought, a long distant traveller or next door neighbour, wateva it may be just hold on to that fading ray of light as it drives ur (& mine too) shadows away....
Busy? Yes i have indeed been busy... not being under satan's yoke but under another -WORK!. Why do we need to work? We need to pay our bills, yes it's all about the bills.
Do you often notice that it always seems like we are always (emphasis on the the word always) working for others?? Working to pay the government - tax,PHCN, water board, working to pay the landlord - rent, working to pay the filing station owners - fuel, working to pay etc... sounds familiar??? sure leaves a big hole in the pocket within hours of receiving that pay.
Sigh.... (another favorite expression), maybe i should try - hiss?? na-ah! does quite cut it...
ok where was i? Ah-ha! (a new one?? maybe.) i'm oh so tired, seems like all i ever do these days is to lament and lament. what happened to my year of positive thinking???? if i can fream it and i can acheive it??? could it be that it's gone with the year??
oh yes! the year.... the year is almost over and as usual we do we do?? review all that was and was not... the couldas, shouldas and wouldas......
i too should review the year's activities as the third person. this year was well... one of thoses years. no new year's resolutions, no expectations save 1 which has been carried over into the next year. i think i kinda drifted through it all.
i must say i dabbled into a few relationships that progressed from bad to outright disgusting (still waiting for the good/sweet/almost perfect one that has evaded me for so long) that convinced me that i hadnt seen it all. MBA!!! there are a lot of bad, bad people out there. i also expereinced a lot of drama. drama? yes drama like a badly written home video which didnt have the ending u would 'ave expected.
in reflection, i must say i achieved a few things personally and i put a few smiles on the faces of loved ones. hey i even started my very own blog!! (round of appaulse if u please)
even as the lights are dimmed and the curtains of the year close to me forever, i know that the there is a surprise waiting for me and who so ever is reading this within the next 28 days. a word, a touch, a gift, a thought, a long distant traveller or next door neighbour, wateva it may be just hold on to that fading ray of light as it drives ur (& mine too) shadows away....
Friday, September 19, 2008
All About Nadia
I opened my eyes as the sun rays filled the room and I glanced at the digital clock by my bedside, 6.29 it showed. I sighed and rolled over thinking to myself "it's darn too early for me to be awake". I wondered why my room was so bright at 6.29 in the morning. Sigh... as I covered my head, struggling to hold on to the last shreds of unconciousness. "Darn!" I swore as my alarm went off, I forgot to turn it off last night when I got in. Why didn't I? It was Saturday, wasn't it?
I slowly arose swinging my legs to the side of the bed. "Aarrh, Mr sleep has left the building". I struggled to get my balance as I got on my feet quite suddenly and stumbled to the bathroom. I felt sore everywhere. My skin stung, i felt as if i had a million fire ants strategically placed all over me. Flashes of light.. "What happened to me?". More flashes.. I tried to replay all the events of the previous day as my head thumped to an unknown rythym. The more i tried to recall the thicker the fog became.
I opened the first aid cabinet above the sink and took out a pack of aspirin, downed a couple then splashed some water on my face. Flashes.. "Ouch!" My head throbed and my body ached. Staring at my reflection in the mirror I noticed a few wrinkles at the corner of my eyes. I thought to myself "Nadia, you are aging and fast".
There again, Flashes... THE VOICE ...glass breaking... more flashes... the throbing increased... voices.... .... gas... fire... the screaming... blood... that darn music.... "No!!!" It hit me as I screamed then it all came crashing down. "What have I done?" "What have I done?" I asked an empty room as tears rolled down my face....
30 years ago.....
I slowly arose swinging my legs to the side of the bed. "Aarrh, Mr sleep has left the building". I struggled to get my balance as I got on my feet quite suddenly and stumbled to the bathroom. I felt sore everywhere. My skin stung, i felt as if i had a million fire ants strategically placed all over me. Flashes of light.. "What happened to me?". More flashes.. I tried to replay all the events of the previous day as my head thumped to an unknown rythym. The more i tried to recall the thicker the fog became.
I opened the first aid cabinet above the sink and took out a pack of aspirin, downed a couple then splashed some water on my face. Flashes.. "Ouch!" My head throbed and my body ached. Staring at my reflection in the mirror I noticed a few wrinkles at the corner of my eyes. I thought to myself "Nadia, you are aging and fast".
There again, Flashes... THE VOICE ...glass breaking... more flashes... the throbing increased... voices.... .... gas... fire... the screaming... blood... that darn music.... "No!!!" It hit me as I screamed then it all came crashing down. "What have I done?" "What have I done?" I asked an empty room as tears rolled down my face....
30 years ago.....
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